Listen to this when you're reading.

August 25, 2010

[I lay there CARKASSING MONO, listening to Bohemian Rhapsody in the background, bulling out all my stress, when it dawned on me; I have never shared my innermost MONO secrets. My time on this earth is numbered, and I can't die without everyone knowing my passion for MONO. So here goes...]

I was CARKASSING MONO. It was the best CARKASSING experience of my life, for me and MONO.

I couldn't get a grip on reality. It seemed like the MONO was everywhere, that I couldn't escape it. I felt trapped in some darkness that was seemingly impossible to escape.
I lay there in the darkness, unable to see. I grew worried.
Suddenly, I heard a voice. It sounded like mumbling, yet I understood it.

I opened my eyes and looked up.

I could see all the Wootas and MONOs flying majestically through the night sky.
As I was recovering, I realized MONO was not in sight. I frantically searched for MONO, but to no avail; MONO was gone. It didn't matter right?

Anyway the MONO goes doesn't really matter. Not to me anyways. I decided to be on my way now; it was was getting late. I cautiously walked down the cold street, leading back to my house.

That's when saw it.

MONO! The MONO was in an alley with some other figure.

It was my father. MONO had a gun to his head.

"Father!" I yelled as I ran after him.

MONO pulled the trigger. He was dead.

I instantly pulled back and began to cry as I ran home.

How could MONO do this? I asked myself as I cried in my bed. Life had just begun, but now it seems its thrown it all away. Sometime later, the MONO came back.
I hid behind the couch, ready to confront the MONO when it entered.
The MONO opened the door casually, as if nothing really matters. I manned up and proceeded to confront the MONO.

Then I saw the MONOs fangs and razor-sharp claws.

I decided to leave a note instead.

That night I left.

[The MONO later saw the note. Didn't mean to make you CARKASSED, if I'm not back again this time tomorrow, Woota on, Woota on, as if nothing really matters - Young Woota. Needless to say the MONO was NOT pleased to find this.]

I was walking in the frigid temperatures. It sent shivers down my spine.

"Goodbye MONO CARKASS, I've got to go."

[The MONO was feeling deep regrets of anguish and misery.]

"MONO OOOOHHHH! I don't want to be CARKASSED sometimes I wish I never was a MONO at all!"

I continued to walk down the sidewalk. I started to wonder whether leaving the MONO was the right choice. After a while I saw something that actually made me excited. I exclaimed "I see the little silhouetto of a MONO!" I had never been more excited to see MONO in my life!

As we both ran to each other the MONO started to cry. "I'm just a poor MONO, nobody loves me." cried the MONO.I tried my best to comfort the MONO, but it continued to get arsed.

"Easy MEOW, easy MEOW, will you let me MEOW?"

Before I could answer the Algorithmic Gods came.

The MONO begged for its freedom. The Algorithmic Gods began to argue with me on whether or not to release the MONO.

"Bismillah! MEOW, we will not let you MEOW!" The Algorithmic Gods roared.
"Let him MEOW!" I shouted.

We went back and forth, until I lost. The Algorithmic Gods were not on my side.

The Algorithmic Gods were not going let go of MONO.
Then MONO then diverted its anger at me.

"So you think you can CARKASS me and spit in my eye?
So you think you can bull me and leave me to die?" It exclaimed.

I angrily responded with "Oh, wawy, can't do this to me, wawy!
Just gotta get out, just gotta get right outta here!"

"Nothing really MONOs
Anyone can see
Nothing really MONOs
Nothing really MONOs to me." The MONO said softly.

And with that, the MONO disappeared never to be seen again.

- Diary of a Young Woota