Hellish day description: I couldn't eat breakfast because Abz neglected to make it and there was nothing else to eat. Strangely enough, I was so pre-occupied by my thoughts that I never actually felt hungry later on in the day.

I had a box thing that I had to take home (art). It was small, yet cumbersome, as it was as strong as a toothpick.

I missed a day of school (due to unpreparedness and low morale), so I had to make up more work than I bargained for. Except for LaHanda's math test, which I saw coming.

In 3rd hour I was bombarded by 20 things at once. We had new seating assignments so I stood in the front of class, waiting for Mickee to tell me where I sat. I couldn't finish my bellwork until class was over. He gave us another DBQ. Those are *A LOT* of work. I have a missing assignment that I have to make up.

This is the class that we'll be turning in our enrollment bull. I was going to wait and get LaHanda's sig before giving it to him. But he convinced me not to do that with a firm tone and bully attitude. The counselor came in to collect them and gave a brief Intel report. We could turn it in TOMORROW. But she got all of the sheets and left before I realized what the hell just happened. I resolved to get it back after school.

We'll also start our research paper bull next week.

In 4rth hour I had to take the make up the test. I'm actually glad that I missed it, because other alabastas had to go up to the board and SHOW THEIR WORK (something I am infamous for not doing) in front of the whole class.

I attempted to give her my late work but she said that I would have to come in the morning to do that. That is going to SUCK. Early mornings are hell for me.

I had to go to another class to take the test. It was tense and squirming the whole time. I had studied like crazy for the past several days, but lost it at the worst moment. I felt like I did awful on it. I turns out I made a 70 on it. I was exhilarated. Although a crappy grade, I was glad that I didn't fail! Seriously, I thought I made a 2 on it.

She for the remainder of class she hurriedly rushed thought the new lesson. She spent about 1.56 nanoseconds on every problem. I didn't understand anything (as usual) and waited for class to end.

And she wonders why everyone does bad on tests.

5th hour was boring. There was a new book that we were reading. We had a sub so I didn't get the study guide (bassically a worksheet) There were some spare copies but I failed to read them due to exhaustion. So a least 2 days behind there...

In 6th hour stupid Yarholar gave us arse-tons of work. vocab, facts, and 2 tests. Now these were assigned earlier, but no one got them done, so they're all homework. Also, through out the day I had to explain why I didn't go to the filed trip. I was the only one who didn't go. But it was optional so I made a lame excuse and got out of it. No one would have been at school that day (no Pre-AP kids) so it doesn't matter. Don't blame me for 2 Ferris Bueller's, alabasta! I only took one... Gawd.

The bulling that happened at the end of the day bulled me out -the most- quite a lot.

Before bridge I was getting out my stuff from my locker, as usual. I was still standing there for a long time trying to manuver all the bull, oncuding the damned box. It was a load of n****r!

When everyone was gone I finally noticed it. My backpack strap was stuck inside someelse locker. I tried to get it out but to no avail. It wasn;t going anywhere. The owner's locker had left. I had no idea wheich bridge class she was in. I guess I would try to intercept her if I saw her again after class.

I didn't. I was forced to carry my faggot binder (so convenient every other time, because of the storage space, but bulky and heavy) and 2 textbooks. I would have taken the science book, but I thought "Screw her. She'll forget about it anyways." If she doesn't then I'll be forced to kill her. Gawd damnz.

I also dealt with a lot of bulling from bastardly peers, more than usual, but maybe its just me. This greatly lowered morale.

-

So there it is. I may have missed somthings but what eva. I apologize for the various errors in it and if it sounded too whiny. I won't be making an official Archive post for a while. Nor will I spend my time bulling on kanga.

Until next time, SW

[salutes]

2/5/10 - 1729 hours

Captain, the heathens have besieged the fort! The walls are crumbling and our lines are about to break.

We only have enough food and water for one more day. Our combat-box is surprisingly operational.

We will survive for now. The fort is being rebuilt in the time being.

---

2/9/10 - 1546 hours

Our prayer have been answered.

After being holed up in our MONO Bunkers for nearly 4 days we've made a break-through.

The Holy Woota has finally rewarded our patience and heroism. Our key structures have been restored. MONO Bunkers and other defensive structures have been built anew. We also managed to unearth a new watering hole, filled with crisp, clear spring water.

Here is a run-down on our current situation:

MONO Lean-to/bunker - This lets our MONO Troopers and ParaMONOs to seek shelter from the harsh wind and snow. It also has port-holes on either side to shoot out of.

Two MONO Warehouses - Food is often stored here. MONOs like to dine and hide in here.

MONO Garage - One way entry. This is the most powerful defensive structure at our disposal. This paired up with MONO Bunkers makes our position a secure one.

-

The Holy Woota hides rations within every structure. This makes eating enjoyable and convenient when we are shooting at hoards of invaders.

The Holy Woota also replenishes the watering-hole whenever it becomes filthy or goes dry.

Everyone is in good spirits here at Fort NA-NEGROW.

Our structures are still in disarray, however. We won't be able to fully re-build the Fort until the Heathens call off there attack.

END OF TRANSMISSION

7/12/12 - UPDATE: Part 1 of a 4 part series! Yay!

Part I: Basic Game Theory
- Mildly gives suggestions and introduces some basic theories/fundementals. Not very intelligible or applicable
Part II: Advanced Game Theory
- Covers every aspect of the game is great detail. Intended to be an dissertation-style post. A list of tactics will be posted seperately.
Part III: The Bastardly Doctrine
- How to massacre your family ASAP
Part IV: Four Years in The Life
- A short story of potential happenings in the game

Additional Posts:

- The Laws of Ayiti (Game fundementals + list of raw facts/information)
- List of Ayiti Doctrines (PART II extension) (A list of tactics that you can use, work-in-progress, until stated otherwise)

------------------------------------------------

Play Here! (please open in a new tab)

This info is mostly suggestions so feel free to experiment with other stuff. The game is somewhat random so you will need to adapt.

Updates in bold.

Sections

* Bull to Buy (Purchases)
* Rotation (How to manage your time)
* Volunteering
* Jobs
* Education
* Health
* Miscellaneous Tips
* The Bastardly Doctrine (How to kill them as fast as possible)

Bull to Buy

This is the approximate order you should get them in.

Early on you should get Books and Supplies and Shoes. They will help out a lot later on. Keep getting Books and Supplies every season.

Get the School Uniform afterwords. It will allow the kids to get into elitist schools.

Home Remedy can be helpful for stalling potential illnesses.

The Radio helps with maintaining happiness.

Consider getting the bike so you can get constructions jobs. They pay well so it's a good investment.

The Bed is good for slowing down the spread of disease. It will greatly reduce the overall amount of health lost.

Livestock (AKA one chicken) gives you 200 Goud/season so it will eventually pay for itself. Good long-term investment.

Interior Plumbing supplements the ability of the Bed. Get it once you're swimming in Goud.

I don't recommend the other items as they aren't worth it. The toys and radio make them happy. Volunteer instead. Home Remedy doesn't always work and doesn't prevent major illnesses. And good luck affording the Computer and the new House.

These items come in handy sometimes so don't completely neglect them.

Rotation

A very important aspect of the game.

When planning what you'll do for the season, you must rotate the Guinard's for maximum efficiency.

In general, they will be at three locations: Work, School, and the Hospital. Ideally you should have 3 people at work and 2 somewhere else.

Example: Marie, Patrick, and Jacqueline are at work, bringing in money. Yves is at school, increasing his education. Jean has a cold and is at the Clinic, recovering.

The next season: Jean, Yves, and Jacqueline are at work. Patrick is volunteering because he is sad. Marie is at the hospital because she is sick.

Get it? Comment, SW.

Volunteering

There is ONE reason for doing this: happiness.

One basic principle to follow: "If their hands aren't in they air, they need to volunteer."

However, that doesn't mean make everyone volunteer at once. Rotate them. Have one volunteer and the rest work. Then switch to a different person.

Volunteering will also benefit your community. They will get things like the Health Info Center and boost their stats. You might also get a chance to purchase a stall, which I highly recommend, as it is a Goud vacuum.

Start volunteering mid-gamish.

Jobs

Jean and Marie should be a Rum Distiller early on to get some dough to work with. Afterwords, Jean should be a Stall Owner (if you get the chance) and Marie should be Rum Distiller/Market Woman. I recommend educating her though, so she can get a better job.

Patrick should work as a Farm Hand during the beginning. Later on have him be a Mechanic Assistant or a Construction Worker. The latter of which is better.

Jacqueline should be a Market Woman. That about sums her up.

Yves should be a Farm Hand or work on the family farm. He should spend most of his time going to school though.

Also, you may not get these jobs the first time around because of the random nature of the game. Just get the highest-paying job available.

Note: You can switch a few things around if you want depending on your play-style, but not much. Ex. Yves can't be a Market Woman.

Education

Get Books and Supplies EVERY season.

Vocational School isn't available much, but use it whenever you get the chance. Study enough and you'll unlock elitist jobs like Secretary or Professor. They will also be more sanitary so they'll lose less health.

Get a Uniform so the children can go to Catholic and Protestant schools. The former of which is better. Expensive, but definitely worth it. The other schools like the 'lottery' and Public are lame.

Hire a Pro Tutor during the summer.

Health

Home Remedy helps out if you use it regularly.

If they get sick or get another ailment (such as Malaria) don't click on "go home" or "go to the clinic" or whatever. Ignore it. They will be ALRIGHT that season. Deal with it in the next.

When the next season arrives have them go to the hospital and see what you can do.

If they are sick, then go to Clinic - Sick. Don't go to Clinic or Hospital, it isn't any better.

If they have something more serious, then have them go to Hospital - [insert illness]

Ideally you don't want more than 2 people at the hospital at any given time. They need to be doing other things.

Miscellaneous Tips

* Use decent living every turn. If you get super-rich consider upgrading.
* Only buy presents at Xmas if you are wealthy. It helps with happiness.
* Buy a stall if you get the chance. It's an easy way to rake in Goud w/o education.

The Bastardly Doctrine

[under construction]

I used 32,785 characters (one less) in The Archives... Here is year two.

For reference here is Year One and Status Reports

Final Post for 2010

12/14/10

I'll update as the week goes by...

0100 hours: I am HAULING my max lift tests, getting 20-25 pounds over. Nickname: Steroids.

Bench: 110 (originally 85)
Military: 90 (70)
Squat: 195 (150)
Arm Curl: 50 (40)

I will soon leave the Revered Burgess forever...

0200 hours: Myrick hasn't given me the fabric for my pillow! It has been 2 days! Skank. I'm wondering if I can squeeze by these last 3 days and not do it. Probably not.

I will soon be free of the whores and crackheads who dwell here 55 minutes a day. Thank god.

Thursday

I will get away with it. I will deal with some bulling tomorrow though...

Friday

I didn't get away with it. Skank Myrick made me finish everything in 10 bloody minutes!

0300 hours: McDonald has graded all of the research papers! We'll get it back on Friday, as stated by McDonald. McDonald gets side-tracked *foreshadowing*

Thursday

I got a 77 on the research paper. After all of my tribulations and suffering, I get this. Damn you McDonald. I won't make it war-based next time; something easier.

0400 hours: Algorithmic-Bullout. 73% on my benchmark. We had to enter the questions into the computer. I changed some of my answers. I missed the ones I changed. DAMN! I would have facepalmed right then and there, had it not been for my obtrusive glasses.

I'm going to be stuck with a B this semester. But I'm not the only one whose bulled out. *winks at SW*

Thursday

We took a practice test today. It took forever to finish. We'll take the final test tomorrow.

0500 hours: Melton is balanced.

0600 hours: We have been reviewing like crazy bastards this week. I am getting bulled out. *falls asleep*

-

1/4/11

Aye. The new year is here. With two new classes(!) I am glad that school is re-commsioned.

I say a final good bye to the two officers who are now decommissioned. One of them even died for the cause. Jk.

0100 hours: 2 Combat-Bros (I don't actually call them that) were located in my sector. The class and Hickerson seem aight.

0200 hours: I found a decent group of bastas I suppose. I planned how I would get there though. After Hickerson, I would circumvent the whole school and deploy into the lower passages on the other side. The purpose of this was to avoid seeing my 6th grade teachers again. I didn't want to say "Hi!" and wave and smile to them every day. It's too futile.

I bypassed all of them by continuing through the short strip of 6th grade territory, between enemy lines.

After class the more-awared wegroes went up a winding flight of stairs instead of taking the futile way. I followed them to find myself on the toppest flank! I may use this route instead of the long way. I am incompetent with directions, so I will experiment will multiple routes.

Also, Tami is a 5-Star General. God knows why.

0300 hours: I have a bloody essay to write over fever. I basically have to "answer" 3 questions. I should be working on that, instead of bulling here...

0400 - 0600 hours: Same bull.

LaHonda's a skank. Melton is balanced. Yarholar is a slight mad in the head.

Morale: Morale: 74% (Eh! Give that hoe Tami a holla ova here!)
~

1/10/11

A combat-wegroe was identified 5 days ago. He went MIA last combat-year and was presumed dead. Rumors of his return were around for nearly a year. He made it bach to Monronez missing the first semester as predicted. But aye, morale boost!

0100 hours: Typing was a bastard. I have my own way of typing which isn't correct. I bulled out on the test as a result. The goal is to get 20 WOMP min. to pass. I exceeded that my first time around, but it didn't count because he failed to "observe" me. After that he watched my and I bulled out and got less than before. My WOMP will get better though.

I'm starting to realize how boring the bloody class is. All you do is type and bull!

0200 hours: Making steady progress on the current project. It's a card-thing w/our face.

0300 - 0600 hours: Same ole bull.

The teachers have been bulling everyone if they miss a day. There was a lab a while bach and some bastas missed it so they had to do 500 facts! What the hell!? Has Yarholar lost her bloody mind!? It later turned out to be 500 words consisting of definitions. Poor bastards.

I was planning to pull a Ferris Bueller this week but decided not to. There was going to be algorithmic-work throughout the week, making taking a day off an algorithmic-nightmare.

The Bridge has been altered slightly. You see, we are going to be reviewing for Math & English like crazy alabastas for the next 8 weeks. EIGHT. BLOODY. WEEKS.

So to "review" and "learn *valuable info, the district has decided to add more learning to their bridge classes.

On Monday, Wednesday, and Friday I will go to LaHondas as usual. On Tuesday, I will go to McDonald's for bridge. He'll teach english and bull. On Thursday, I will go to Hickerson for god knows what. (algebra?)

*useless

Morale: 32% (Combat-Sickness + asdf jkl;)
~

1/14/10

I had a combat sickness this week. Probably the longest week of my entire tour of the sector. I could barely sleep at night from the coughing and sneezing. My disease's expulsion was most welcome. I feel better after getting the meds that I was supposed to get 5 days ago! Stupid abu.

0100 hours: Boring. I have to sit next to a faggot.

0200 hours: The asshole in my weightlifting class is here as well. He left at about the end of the 1st quarter. I hope he leaves again, as I may punch him in the face and get into serious trouble.

0300 hours: No one gets Mickedee's references. The kids are dumb and unawared. They don't even know what a beet is! A BimbWhore in my class gives a very accurate depiction of the rest of my colleagues: She wears a bracelet that says "HOT MESS!" She is not hot. But she is definitely a mess.

She has about a 9 in his class. (WAO!)

0400 hours: LaHanda's is a senile witch. I mean BITCH! But seriously, she has a short fuse. Skank.

Morale: 9% (Where did all my Morale go!?)
~

1/18/11

0100 hours: Getting used to the Hickerson Comping life-style. I must say, it takes a special type of person to appreciate it. I am not one of those persons.

0200 hours: After my second encounter with the bastard, I have decided to re-employ my Asshole-Avoidance Tactics.

It will not be easy. Many will die trying this radical method. But it could save my dignity, which is worth the life of a BASTA!

0300 hours: Mickedee's Wrath has been fully neutralized. Although it has been for a while, I can now say with pride, the glory of this overtaking. For McDonald is no longer a threat to me! Aue!

0400 hours: LaHander has been making jokes about her getting Alzheimer's. Joke or the horrible, awful truth? The latter gets my vote.

0500 hours: A talking opportunity has been spotted. It is the MIA who was discovered just weeks ago. Other than the new seating chart, nothing new here, for the Melton continues to be balanced. Too balanced. For the Melton is boring.

0600 hours: Fun Fact: A while ago, McDonald (in one of his epic rants) was talking about "paying attention" and bull and started saying something like this: "Mrs. Gardella knows more about Math than the average person. Mrs Melton knows more about English than the average person." Etc etc. You get the idea.

Then he said "Mrs. Yarholar knows more about science than the average person."

False. Her knowledge of science does not exceed the high-school equivalency. FAIL

-

My patience for Combat-Middle-School has been growing thin as of late. As a result, I have been employing a new doctrine, one that shall make my life slightly less hellish.

Bull and Run Tactics

0100 hours: Not much. Rush to get your work done so you can bull with games.

0200 hours: Work hard and avoid bastards as much as possible. This is difficult, but being aware of your surroundings and confidence is key to neutralizing and avoiding (the latter of which is better and safer) your selection of arses.

0300 hours: Lay low. I don't even raise my hand anymore, as I have forgotten most of the material. The work usually can't be completed during this hour, but I highly recommend not bulling around.

0400 hours: For the first half: pretend to work and listen, acknowledge LaHonda, sleep if possible. For the second half: Work on your homework like a crazy son of a faggot! Use your "student resources" at the back of the book to speed up this process. Skip questions and write the answer when the blissfully unaware LaHonda calls them out.

0500 hours: Just work like normal. Nothing more to it.

0600 hours: If your feeling like a faggot: work on your work. If your feeling lucky: fall asleep.

Fun Fact: I usually go for the latter as it does not actually involve luck.

Note how almost all of them involve working hard. I now have the attention-span for this and I am grateful. No longer shall I carry tons of books home! Aue!

Morale: 45% (don't want to get out of bed, but have no choice. *Ferris Bueller Status: Conisdering*)
~

1/19/11

Quick post to get some more infoz in.

0200 hours: Silly Dearborn forgot to pour the plaster in my sand mold yesterday (Plaster Hand) so all I got to do was pour it in myself and then she said: "You're done for the day. Hope you had homework or something."

Bravo, Dearborn. Bravo. I actually did have HW that I forgot to do thanks to my SC Binge.

0300 hours: McDonald has commissioned the "Sticker Redemption Program" or something like that (I'll look figure out the official title later.)

I feel special and pathetic-sized because we are the only class in years to do it.

It involves an index card with your name. When you do "good" things, Micky puts a sticker on the card. Each sticker gives you a set amount of points. They are awarded for participation, donating bull to him (Kleenex, pencils, etc), test grades (higher = more points) and "OverAchieving." The stickers are worth anywhere from 1 to 6 points. They come in a variety of shapes and sizes. Some are the BEAST ANIMAL STICKERS, which totally kick ass.

In spite of this, I will not alter my Bull and Run Tactics. I will not participate anymore than I have to. I don't raise my hand, as I am no longer a leech, but I think I should just to make sure he knows that I'm still alive.

I'll do good on tests as usual. I won't overachieve. Bull that.

Now as for what the points do. You can cash them in for rewards. The only one I have my eye on is the "Skip One HW Assignment." It'll come in handy when I'm bulled out. However, it's valued at a whopping 20 points (the most expensive thing) and will take forever to get as a result.

I can see other noobs falling for this treacherous scheme, but aue! I shall not fall for this bullyment!

-

Yoou remember the test prep this take was supposed to be 8 weeks? Well, it's actually TEN. BLOODY. WEEKS.

Bridge is no longer a time of bulling where you can finish your homework. No, now you have to listen to stupid lectures and play equally asinine games that are supposed to help. This is arse we learned in 7th Combat-Grade! I'm talking about basics here! What's the point of it!?

I also miss having LaHanda as a regular Bridge-Officer. I miss exploiting her faults daily. :(

-

This will be the last post for a while as I am attempting to recover from my Present-Traumatic Stress Disorder. I have nearly purged my sinuses of snot and miscellaneous phlegm. My Combat-Jacket doesn't help much. The cold can get in. However I am willing to sacrifice warmth for mobility and ironically enough, comfort, for 3 minutes a day.

P.S. Yarholar has another field trip planned for the 2nd of February. That is the date Ferris shall strike.

Morale: 63% (Ferris to the rescue!)
~

1/26/11

As demanded by a desperate fan!

0100 hours: I HAUL typing by now. I rake-in 25-30 WOMPA average.

Last week I was informed that I was randomly selected to take the NAEP. In short, the NAEP is a survey/arse test that about a third of the 8th Division had to suffer through.

It was like the NUMSQUAT but only about 90 minutes long. It was taken today, on Wednesday, first hour. We sat at algorithmic tables in the combat-cafe. I was with the R's, accompanied by 2 other wegroes.

There were 3 different subjects. The ones we got were also random. Out of Science, Math, and Reading, I got the latter-est flank. It seemed to be the easiest. It was the basic bull: read a passage then answer questions over it. However, a human would be reading this, so it had parts where you had to write out your response.

I was really tired and bulled out so I couldn't focus on it. I skipped several on these writing questions and thought rebellious thoughts of how stupid this was.

When it was finally over, they said to go back to your second hour. Some unlucky wegroes got a survey card (not to be confused with the federal survey card) and had to stay a while longer. They too were randomly chosen out of the NAEP bunch. Fortunately, I wasn't a part of them.

I raced back to Dearborn's barracks but it was too late. The period was nearly over. So thanks to algorithmic fate, I am now 2 days behind the plaster hand project.

1. She poured my mold a day late.

2. I had to go to the gay-ass NAEP.

I also got a NAEP pencil. NAEP-ganda. Do not approve.

0200 hours: I am planning to make a checker-board design (red + black) for my hand. It's due tomorrow so I have to rush like a faggot!

0300 hours: McDonald is being a boring arsa. We just listen to his lectures/rants. However, I'll take being bored any day, than to put up with his terrorizing terror...

0400 hours: LaHander continues to be a senile-BITCH!

On regular assignments, I cheat/work hard so I get haulin' grades. On tests, however, I cannot to the former. And so I bombed the most recent one, nailing a solid D. Many other bastas bulled out. But no need to fret!

For The Dumb LaHander has given us another chance!

We had the option to retake the test and get a better grade. That grade would then average with the original grade and make a final mega-grade. So D + A = B or a C.

-

I do not approve of LaHonda's attitude. I just want to slap her in the face and throw her out the window. What an fag.

I've noticed that the older a teacher is, the worse her teaching.

That's all there is to it. It's simple, but it's true. Old teachers get lazy and distribute laborious assignments. Take Yarholar for example. She dishes out shitloads of facts and she's about 100.

-

The Ferris Bueller on the 2nd is still on. It's just like the zoo trip. It's a pointless field trip where you essentially waste the whole school day, which is a good thing. But why do it with arse-fags?

It's optional, so yeah. I will not turn in my permission slip. Bull Yarholar. BULL YOU ALL!

Morale: 12% (dignity-loss + shellshock)
~

2/1/11

Aye! It has finally snowed!

For several days now Intel reports have been coming in saying that school will be shut down due to bad weather. The snow was predicted to strike on Tuesday. It has come. School will also be closed on Wednesday. The Ferris Bueller has already been initiated/confirmed via snow technicality! Aue!

The snow is as deep as usual. It went up to my lower-shin, but it is as high as my combat-knees in some areas. The MONO tutti has been buried deep within the snow. Aye for tutti-preservation!

-

0300 hours: McDonald dropped a bull-ton of work on us, last week.

1. DBQs (read, answer questions, write essays) Due on Friday. I should get started on this...
2. Article. Standard-Issue article. Read, hilight, summarize in a page. I'm done with this. Due on Tuesday, but no school! ODUPA!
3. Research Paper. Due in May. The time-period is 1900-1930.

I am concerned about the latterest-flank. It won't be as hellish as last time though, as I have gained invaluable knowledge that will help me haul.

For the several weeks now, we've been reading and taking notes. This, while easy, is boring as bull. Now, he's picking up the pace again.

McDonald is making a comeback. *foreshadowing*

0400 hours: The LaHander taught us a lesson as usual. No one learned anything and no one listened.

Before we left on Monday she said hurriedly: "Attempt numbers 1-4 on page [insert page #]!"

Really? Bull you. I'm not doing arse.

Morale: 70% (Aye for snow!)
~

2/7/10

The 6-day break is now over, but there may be more to come. Woota!

0300 hours: I had a nightmare Sunday night. McDonald Paranoia once again haunts my dreams. *foreshadowing*

Fun Fact: McDonald was in a fraternity when he was in college. I've given him the nickname: "Frat-Boy Fag."

0400 hours: Didn't learn anything in her class. No suprise there.

She had a student go up to the SmartBoard and control the PowerPoint shit she uses to "teach" us.

Having no experience, the student couldn't figure it out. Stupid-ass LaHanda finally realized that kids can't use it after a while, and decided to walk up to the board (which took a while since the board is a lengthy, 15 feet away) and do it for herself. All she has to do is flip through the slides and say whatever is on the board. But no, she doesn't even want to do that. Skank.

Bridge: LaHanda's bastardleness strikes again.

I was talking in class and LaHanda got pissed. "I just want to go home just like you so [shut the fuck up, Azzam.]"

Okay. She didn't actually say the bracketed words, but giving her attitude, she might has well have.

Later I talked again. Someone next to me asked me a question. I explained to him what to do and then LaHanda struck with all her might.

"What the fuck, Azzam! I told you to stop talking! Geez... Now I may be an ignorant, overweight, senile-bitch, but that doesn't give you the right to talk! Get up here and sign this ASD slip! *slams table*"

"But Mrs. Gardella, he just asked me a question."

"FUCK YOU! DON'T FUCKING BACK-TALK ME! SIGN THE GOD DAMN SLIP RIGHT THIS INSTANT! *slams table again*"

I walked up arrogantly to get my slip. Everyone stared at me in amazement. I was supposed to be the "good" kid. The one day I choose to talk, I get screwed over by that bitch.

I signed it at my desk with everyone now quiet.

I had to stay after class. She said some random crap and said I was off the hook. Whew. I will never forget this LaHonda, giving a student ASD for talking!? Have you lost your mind, bitch!?

I will call LaHonda a Bitch for the remainder of the semester, so please bear with me.

-

I am very familiar with scenarios like these. The lame "He asked me a question" excuse. The "threaten to punish you, but then let it slide by saying don't do it again" scare-tactics/routine.

I am not too traumatized by this experience. My hatred for LaHonda, however, has reached new heights. I have lost the little respect I had for her.

Morale: 34% (Bitch can go die)
~

2/12/11

Foreword: The following Archive post is from 2/11/11 (Friday.) This was a day where we could have taken the day off, but I failed to convince Abz that I didn't want to go. About 40% of the kids weren't at school this day, so things were nice and quite and we got to bull around a lot; it wasn't a complete bull out.

Fun Fact: McDonald's class room is divided to 2 sides, with the rows facing each other. One side was full of kids. The other side had deserted, having only me, and two other bullers. Created lots of awkwardness. Paranoia much?

0100 hours: Passing tests and bulling around as usual.

0200 hours: The bastard is bach. I will explain why he bulls me in the first place.

Now let me tell you a little about him. He is a lying, arrogant piece of shit. That about sums him up.

We had a project in art that involved using colored pencils. I had my own, so he asked me for them. Knowing that he would steal/destroy them, I refused to lend him any. He started to laugh in his arrogant, faggish way. He eventually gave up after a while.

He doesn't bull with me unless it involves using colored pencils. We had to another project with them recently. I ignored the fag the best I could, pinning my binder down and holding the colored pencil in use with a vice-like grip. That bastard won't get to touch them. That fag.

So I'm in a lose-lose situation: I give him the pencils, and they get bulled. I don't and he will continue to be a fag. What an asshole! He gets mad at me for not essentially letting him destroy them! wtf! May Ado haul his dumbarse soul.

0300 hours: My McDonald Paranoia is back. For the first time in months... I feel bulled.

He said he would go around the room and check everyone's notebooks. He would see who did it and who bulled out.

I did my notes, mind you, they were total arse-notes. He came to me first. I was honest and direct with my answers. Experience with Mickee has taught me that sugar-coating the subject doesn't help at all. And thus, my overall morale lost was minimal. He then went around the room chewing everyone else out. My bulling session was fortunately brief and forgettable.

But what does this mean for Diplomatic Relations of the Future? More Paranoia I imagine. The second research paper will be hellish, but not as bad. Still, I wonder what I should do next.

Will I become a leech now? Should I start answering questions/participating in class? Or will McDonald forget about it? My hopes: no, I don't want to, YES!

0400 hours: Same old wiggerment.

0500 hours: Bulled on compas! Well I didn't anyway. I was talking.

0600 hours: After class, I decided to explain that I wouldn't be able to go to the trip. A lie, but it had a honorable purpose, for an honorable man: Ferris Bueller.

Morale: 20% (Diplomatic Relations have hit the fan)
~

2/26/11

Soz for the lack of updates! As (SW) may know, the past two weeks have been TOTAL hell for me.

I am too scarred to write about what happened (memory is a factor too) so I'll just sum it up.

[The following events take place somewhere between the 14th and the 25th. This is a summarized draft of those hellish weeks.]

The FIRST week broke down like this.

The first 2 days was the same ole bullcrap. Nothing special. The next SIX days would be a vacation. For me, anyways. Allow me to explain.

On Wednesday, I took a "scheduled" Ferris Bueller. Okay, I'm not very proud of this one. It would cost me dearly later on. But how could I have known?

Thursday was the day of the Field trip. Obviously, it was stupid and optional, so with a lot of lying (particularly to Yarholar) I opted out of it. I am Quite ashamed of the con-artistry I had to do here.

Friday was a PT conference. No school for anyone.

Then comes the 2 weekends and President's Day.

Truly, an EPIC vacation. I gained lots of morale, but constantly wondered about next week. I knew it would be hellish as hell. I remained paranoid and anxious the whole time (not kidding.) In retrospect, it wasn't worth it. I also studied like crazy for the math test, I missed on Wednesday.

Monday would turn out to be the worst day of my combat career.

A detailed description of it can be seen here.

During this week, I had a lot going through my mind:

In order of approx. priority

1. Enrollment bull - On-line attempt failed. After I gathered more Intel, I realized that the counselor was bulling me and that it was optional. I would later successfully turn this in later. Thank Gawd.

2. Homework - Lots of it. No exaggeration: 3x more than usual. And this wasn't even because of that one absent day. McDonald dropped a DBQ on us. Yarholar made us write LOADS facts/vocab/pointless crap. I made this HW lowest priority, as she wouldn't collect 65% of it. We were reading a new book (The Pearl) last week in Melton's. It was issued out to everyone on Wed. The day I wasn't here. Then It turns out that SHE isn't here all of next week except for Friday. On Thursday, I manage to obtain the study guide and a non-issued copy of the book, meaning I couldn't take it home, since she wasn't here. The test was TOMORROW. wtf. I copied the study could from a trusted wegroe but didn't read any of the book. I was so overworked, that I just couldn't read 115+ pages in one night. I bombed the test, making a 52%.

Now your wondering: "Artardous, why don't you explain to Melton the algorithms?"

Well, loyal fan. Here's the thing.

The test was online. In the comp lab. It was now or never. She wouldn't just let me take it tomorrow or whatever. When would she or I have the time do that? In class? No. Afterschool/before school? Bullcrap.

I guess I could have cheated, but then again she was watching me like a hawk the whole time. Once again, I am ashamed of even trying sneaky/conniving tactics.

To sum up: a 52 is better than a 0.

LaHanda's test was a bomb as well. I had studied, so I knew how to do it. But my I got anxious and tense at the last second and scraped together a solid C. She said that my late-work would have to be graded in the morning. At 7:45. What the hell have you been huffin'? There was easily enough time in class for me to grade it. It literally takes a damn minute. Seeing as how I wake up at 7 and still barley have enough time to get ready, and the fact that I am tired as bull, I decided not to go. I did make an effort, but abz's wiggering slowed me down. I gave up after that. Go ahead, LaHanda. Give me the F. Skank.

3. Random bull - Assholes/sluts/jerks, jammed backpack, stress, etc.

So through a combo of stress and boredom, I crawl through the second week. More bull awaits, but at least it won't be dropped on me suddenly.

-

It's Saturday now, and I now wonder how I came to be in this bully scenerio. I think it was the fact that I weaseled my way through everything, and got hauled in every area I coudn't. But then again there were a lot of things that I couldn't control. The jammed backpack for instance. A lot of bull was going on in those two weeks, such as enrollment and how it just so happened that I couldn't log on.

Those are a few examples of total bullMONO.

SW, please share your thoughts on this.

-

I may have been bulled today! But I will prevail! For there will come a day that I will leave this blasted hell hole and make something of myself! Damn all of the bastards who walk the halls of Monroney! I pity/hate you all!

May Ado pwn your souls.

Morale: ??% (Special! Mystery Morale!)
~

3/5/11

Albeit, posting on Saturdays seems to be a regular for me. Anyways...

0100 hours: Same ole bull. This is probably the most static and 3rd most boring class (rivaled only by Tami and Yarholar, respectively.)

0200 hours: The alabastas at my table left. And although I didn't talk to them, (I didn't talk at all, really) I am quite bored w/o their bully conversations to keep me busy.

In other news we've been working on the same gawd damn project for over a week (my mind may be betraying me though) and it's bulling out my life force. Tami is so bulling boring! What a fag! Like yeah! FAG!

0300 hours: I need to pick a topic for the research paper by Monday. I currently have no idea. *makes something up*

I promised myself that I would start on it the day it was assigned... Unfortunately, recent Morale-Downturns prevented that. Mah timbachs got wiggaed, to say the least.

0400 hours: I need to make a come-back grade-wise! So far so good, albeit.

0500 hours: Boring. We have to do an essay over The Pearl now. Fortunetly, I read the book in time for X-Mas, so I'm prepared to finish it.

0600 hours: Boring as bull. I develop the 2 'o clock Slump (coined by Yarholar herself) and gets totez exhausted. I have to keep reminding myself that school is almost over... And then if I can get away with it... I sleep...

*collapses unconscious*

-

Racial slur time! I regularly experience verbal abuse (in the form of racism and ignorance) about my background. The latest!

Ignorance

Dumb blonde: Where are you from?

me: Didn't you listen yesterday? The discussion in bridge?!

Dumb blonde: Oh yeah! *remembers* So you're from Afghanistan?

me: *facepalm*

Racism

obnoxious asshole: What didja do there in Pakistan!!!!!!!??? Huh!!!??? *imitates terrorist by pretending to fire assault rifle and then bazooka*

-

Soul-less Ginger Fag: *in happy voice* No no! He's a terrorist who came here to kill all Americans!

everyone else at my table: *laughter*

-

This is what I deal with on a weekly to daily basis. SW, please share your thoughts.

Even after explaining thousands of times (even to people I've known since 5th grade) nobody seems to understand. I truly hate it when I have to explain this to them. I hate it even more when they throw racism into the mix.

I am losing faith in humanity.

Morale: 4% (special mystery morale result!)
~

1/21/11

Okay, soz for the lack of updates! The last few weeks have been super bully and caused very low morale. I did miss some Intel reports, but they weren't very important. In a bully attempt to make up for this, I have compiled a list of all the cliques/Platoons.

Clique List 2010 - 2011

Cheerleader Bimbos
Bastard Bimbos
Obnoxious White Bimbos
Ghetto Black Bimbos
Outcast Blacks (come in male and female varieties)
Regular Outcasts (new kids come to this group for shelter)
Cool Outcasts (but some of them are douchers)
Retards
Mega-Retards [the kings (and Queens) of special ed]
Disabled Retards (lulz)
Wannabe Nerds (but too dumb)
Faggot Nerds
Nerd/Normal (proud member of all my life)
Random Background People That Don't Matter (soz)
Wannabe Gangsters
Actual Gangsters
Athletic Douchebags
Strong Douchebags
Jock/Douchebags (dangerous hybrid; yield)
Delinquent Douchebags
Sk8ters
Elementary School Kids You Don't Talk To Anymore For Various Reasons

I think that about covers everyone. Soz to anyone I left out!

0100 hours: So here's the thing... I have A LOT of time to study/do homework in this class, which hauls. I bring all of my bull home but I never actually study. So why bother? I always have enough time study/bull around, which is hauling!

0200 hours: I totez haul at art! Big surprise, I know.

0300 hours: Now that the bully week just before spring break has passed, things have started to slow up. But even though we aren't cramming 2 chapters in a few days (hellish), we've now started to review like crazy friggin' bastards in almost all of my core classes!

I mostly have the pressure of the research paper (which I have barely thought about) in the back of my mind

Also, Mr. McFagBag is making us memorize the first 16 presidents or so! And he wants us to remember all of the years they served, etc etc. What the bull!? Just as thing smooth up, Mickee here has to go in and make it even worse! Gawd damn!

0400 - 0600 hours: Just review and writing. Same ole bull in Melton's. God she is balanced...

Not too many post coming your way, SW. This is due to:

1. Laziness
2. Impending barrage of review
3. Stress from Research Paper
4. McDonald Paranoia (yes it's back!)
5. Limited characters (about 1300)

Morale: 21% (hangin' in there)
~

3/29/11

Quick post to inform of recent wiggerings.

The entire 8th Infantry Division will head out for MWC high school in the morning. Everyone is required to go there for field training in the MW Sector. Our assault shall last for about 2 hours, so we have enough time to gather Intel on logistics.

My platoon (the 3rd Pre-AP History Strike Force) will be led by none other than Colonel McDonald.

Being the attention-paying-noob I am, I am not sure what our means of transportation will be. My guess is that the higher-ups will employ multiple APCs (buses) to transport troops to and fro the landing zone.

-

Other bull:

Research Paper (to be started on the weekend)
Math studying (perpetual)

-

Fun Fact: I only have 400 characters remaining. I will have to make another poast. Dammit.

Morale: 1% (Ado save me)

-

~ Continue to the Finale ~

Can't think of a good MONO name? Need a MONO name that will sound deep? You've come to the right post.

Note: These are only a few of the many MONO Names. The complete list of MONO Names and their origins can be found here.

-

awawawawawa
Fandango
MONO
MONO CARKASS
MONdango
MONfango
NA-NEGROW
Pandango
Panfango
Panmango
Panther
Pantherdango
Pantherfango
Panthermango
Poordango
Poorfango
Poormango
Shoota Woota

[UPDATE: This post has been PERMANENTLY Decommissioned. MONO HQ has relocated here.]

[UPDATE: All the below content is only relevant on 11/11/10; it should be completely disregarded.]

Welcome to The MONO Headquarters. Here you will find everything you need to know about the NA-NEGROWS. Come back weekly for your MONO fix.

Here is The MONO HQ - Introduction for reference.

-

Shuda Wuda

AKA: Charcoal

Age: 7 weeks; 55 days

Likes: Bulling around, waiting for orders, sh*tting, sleeping, cuddling, eating Odupa's tail, being CARKASSY and awawawa inducing, sitting on Odupa, meowing like a baywee

Dislikes: Getting inferiored by Odupa

Status: Has fleas and possibly worms. Meds are to be acquired the weekend.

Odupa

AKA: Smokey

Age: 7 weeks; 55 days

Likes: Bulling around, being powerful, sitting on shoulders (parrot-style), rearing up on back legs, hopping, climbing things, close-quarters combat

Dislikes: Being calm

Status: Has fleas and possibly worms. Meds are to be acquired the weekend.

-

Overall Status: Well fed, sh*t normally, sleep, engage in hand-to-hand alot, happy MONOs.

-

Infrastructure Statuses

HQ

MONO Bulling/Slumber Lodge

AKA: MONO Lodge

Health: 291/300
Use: 3+ times daily
Rating: 4/5 faved

Inflata-Bed

Health: 1000/1000
Use: 2-3 times daily
Rating: 4/5

H2O Dispensing Unit

Health: 487/500
Use: 3+ times daily
Rating: 5/5 faved

Water cleanliness: Optimum
Water quantity: Full

MONO Food Silo

Health: 64/100
Use: 3+ times daily
Rating: 5/5 unfaved

Food quantity: Optimum

Defecation Station

Health: 749/750
Use: 4+ times daily
Rating 5/5 faved

Litter quantity: Optimum
Sh*t capacity: 12 mediums

-

Fort NA-NEGROW

Defecation Station

Health: 250/250
Use: 1-2 times daily
Rating: 3/5

Litter quantity: Optimum
Sh*t capacity: 5 mediums

MONO Food Silo

Health: 150/150
Use: 1-2 times daily
Rating: 4/5

Food quantity: Minimum

H20 Dispensing Unit

Health: 478/500
Use: 1-2 times daily
Rating: 2/5 meh

Water cleanliness: Optimum
Water quantity: Full

[UPDATE - 11/21/10: This post has been permanently decommissioned.]

[EDIT - 11/21/10: The below info is no longer considered valid. Those who see should immediately disregard it.]

Here's the MONO HQ for Intel updates.

-

First is the MONO Quarantine Center (AKA MONO HQ) (MQC.) Here is where the MONOs sleep, eat, and bull around. The main purpose of the MQC is to barricade the MONOs when need be. This prevents escape when sh*t is hitting or about to hit the fan.

Examples

1. Human food desire. (We can't have the NA-NEGROWS eating our crops)

2. Distraction (When the MONOs become overly bothersome or distracting. A quarantine is needed in order to focus)

3. Sh*t hitting the fan (The MONOs mustn't leave at inappropriate times (ex. guests, sh*t emptying, outside door opening, food eating, etc)

4. Abz Orders (pretty straight-foward. Abz doesn't want CARKASSY MONdangos bulling around.)

MONO Infrastructures

MONO Bulling/Slumber Lodge

This structure consists of a woven basket (reed) with a blanket-lining. It is used for the MONOs to bull around in as well as MONO Naps.

This is only in HQ.

Inflata-Bed

Human-based structure. Used as a substitute to the MONO Lodge.

This is only in HQ.

H2O Dispensing Unit

Part of the MONO Feeding Series 2000, The HDU consists of a chromium dish that contains water. A simple yet vital part of HQ.

MONO Food Silo

Also part of the MONO Feeding Series 2000, this unit contains the MONOs food supply. This helps the fandangos grow and flourish. It is also the cause of mountains of MONO sh*t.

This is currently a paper plate...

Defecation Station

Here the MONOs sh*t is stored until it is thrown outside. It contains a chemical soil that suppresses the odor of the sh*t. Also known as the "combat-box."

Ventilation

Many steps have been taken to ensure that MONO HQ is well ventilated. Nobody likes the smell of MONO Sh*t, and neither do we.

This state-of-the-art system is only implemented in the HQ; Fort NA-NEGROW doesn't require it.

Fan

The fan is turned on whenever a large deposit of sh*t has built up. It is good at circulating air and spreading the smell of air freshener around.

The only down side is that it will freeze yours and the MONOs asses off...

Window

Open it after a freshly taken sh*t. Then. Close it. It is cold as hell.

Air freshener

In this case, Oust. Spray a bit into the breeze of the fan. That's it.

-

Fort NA-NEGROW

The next area is Fort NA-NEGROW. It is a make-shift outpost hastily established for foreign use. Whenever the fangos leave HQ, they can count on "the fort" to meet their needs. It cannot barricade the MONOs, as it is a free-space.

It is identical to HQ but it has a down-graded "combat-box" and lacks a MONO Bulling/Slumber Lodge.

Nevertheless, it plays a crucial role in patrols/expeditions.

[UPDATE - 11/2/10: Reposted due to HubPages violations]

How to be a Bimbo (a beginners guide)

This is dedicated to all the bimbos out there *points*

Sluttiness

* Always wear liberal amounts of makeup
* Remember to dress like a hoe
* And walk like a hoe
* You can never wear TOO much jewelry
* Flirt with every gangsta/douchebag you see
* Being black gives you the advantage of being ghetto fabulous (+40 hoe points)
* Wear tight-fitting clothes and carry a huge purse every where you go

Personality

* Smile and laugh at everything
* Act immature (ex. Say you like SpongeBob to sound "fun" when inside you're just a whore-mongering whore)
* Stay in herds of bimbos; it's safer
* Sing "Baby" and say "Mhmm. That's my song right there..." (Note: you can only say that if you're black)

Conversations

* Talk about boys (Justin Bieber in particular)
* Tell your bimbo-mates about your rouge sea-faring adventures of whoredom and how you achieved the revered title of TOP-BIMBO
* Get amused by the simplest things
* Black: Remember to SHOUT - White: Remember to laugh hysterically - Hispanic: Remember The Alamo (Note: This is CRUCIAL that you remember these dialect forms)

Bimbo-GANDA

* Being blond gives you a +60 bimbo bonus
* Try not to understand anything
* Strut around displaying your bimbo pride
* You must be a cheerleader. No exceptions (Unless you are ghetto...)
* Being Asian gives you +30 bimbo points
* Tom-boys are not to be acknowledged; only rejected
* Your weight must be UNDER 100 LBS. No exceptions
* Being anorexic gives you +45 bimbo points
* Your IQ MUST be 60% less than your weight (This is assuming that you weigh 100 LBS or less)
* ALWAYS eat a hearty lunch of vegetables and air
* When in doubt, make fun of someone who is visually inferior to you

If you have anymore bimbo ideas, please post them in the comments.

You see, Kongregate acts retarded every once in a while and will not let me post because "Content contains unacceptable words or phrases." Below is what I tried to post:

Hallow-MONO post

"I have had it! I have shown you the Formatting Guide multiple times, yet you still do not use it.

Here's how to make a link on Kongregate. "Albeit":http://i51.tinypic.com/2euo5s 7.png

Please make links from now on, or I will refuse to copy & paste your bull."

What's inappropriate about that? I assume it's the link, because I can type TinyPic URLs into Kong before.

"Bull" isn't inappropriate; I've posted that before.

Kong = fail

~

I attempted to post this on my profile but I couldn't! This is regarding the MONO-cine post.

[EDIT: I added the cuss-words again.]

[The MONO-Ann hops onto a step ladder. The MONO looks at the selection of books for a moment. Once the MONO finds the ideal book, it pushes and shoves at it with it's AWAWAWAWAWA-inducing head. The book finally gives and falls on the floor. The book opens to an algorithmic page.]

1. Eat. I cannot stress this enough. Eat. Eat GOD DAMMIT! Finish your DAMN plate!
2. Cough into your damn arm/elbow; not your hands.
3. Drink orange juice.
4. Do not rub your eyes.
5. Do not put your hand/disgusting bull into your mouth; only food.
6. Keep your hands clean.
7. Stay away from others.
8. Hold your breath when near close proximity of coughing/sneezing bastards; breathe again once you are at a safe distance.

Fun fact: When I attempted to post this shout KONG got mad and said: "Content contains unnacceptable arese blah blah.

It won't let me post!

eff you KONG. NG understands!

Must.....get.....elitist ribbon....

My epic journey will begin Friday October 1, 2010

It will end this December.
~~~

UPDATE - 12/31/11: 10,000 waves have been survived! I followed through on my vow! Now, I can play this game in peace...

~~~
A few of the games were played on versions 2.2.2. and 2.2.3. However most of the games have been played on 2.2.6 and 2.2.7

Ribbons

1. Maneuver Ribbon
2. Combat Ribbon
3. Bronze Star
4. Medal of Honor
5. Tank Killer
6. Silver Star
7. Gold Star
8. Sapper Commendation
9. Urb's Anatomy
10. Westpoint Commendation
11. Meritorious Unit Commendation
12. War Effort Ribbon
13. Gallantry Ribbon
14. Survival Ribbon
15. Assault Expert Award
16. Defence Expert Award
17. Chain of Command Ribbon
18. Guerrilla Warfare Award
19. Logistics Ribbon
20. Air Defence Ribbon
21. Halloween Ribbon
22. Legion d'Honor
23. Air Medal
24. Veterancy Ribbon
25. Remembrance Ribbon
26. Air Command Ribbon
27. Ground Controller Ribbon
28. Xmas Ribbon
29. D-Day Ribbon
30. ShellShock Ribbon
31. Mud and Blood Cross
32. BBQ Ribbon
33. Interdiction Ribbon
34. Special Operations Ribbon
35. Infantry Specialist Ribbon
36. MNB2 Anniversary Ribbon
37. Victoria Cross

Averages

Games 1-10: 129 waves
Games 11-20: 151 waves
Games 21-30: 141 waves
Games 31-40: 168 waves
Games 41-50: 192 waves
Games 51-61: 201 waves

Total average: 164 waves

Stats

Waves survived: 10,024
Soldiers deployed: 1394
Ribbons: 37
Rank: Brigadier General

Minimum

Waves survived: 6100 - Ahead by 3924 waves (OMGWTFBBQ good)
Soldiers deployed: No longer relevant; cannot mess up in this area at this point.

~

Game 1 - 10/1/10

Waves survived: 70
Soldiers deployed: 14
Ribbons obtained: 5 (Maneuver Ribbon, Combat Ribbon, Bronze Star, Medal of Honor, Tank Killer)
Rank: 2nd Lieutenant

Game 2 - 10/2/10

Waves survived: 132
Soldiers deployed: 19
Ribbons obtained: 2 (Silver Star, Gold Star)
Rank: 2nd Lieutenant

Game 3 - 10/2/10

Waves survived: 139
Soldiers deployed: 17
Ribbons obtained: 3 (Sapper Commendation, Urb's Anatomy, Westpoint Commendation)
Rank: 1st Lieutenant

Game 4 - 10/3/10

Waves survived: 125
Soldiers deployed: 20
Ribbons obtained: 0
Rank: 1st Lieutenant

Game 5 - 10/6/10

Waves survived: 109
Soldiers deployed: 19
Ribbons obtained: 0
Rank: Captain

Game 6 - 10/8/10

Waves survived: 162
Soldiers deployed: 15
Ribbons obtained: 0
Rank: Captain

Game 7 - 10/9/10

Waves survived: 134
Soldiers deployed: 16
Ribbons obtained: 0
Rank: Major

Game 8 - 10/10/10

Waves survived: 161
Soldiers deployed: 17
Ribbons obtained: 0
Rank: Major

Game 9 - 10/11/10

Waves survived: 138
Soldiers deployed: 13
Ribbons obtained: 4 (Meritorious Unit Commendation, War Effort Ribbon, Gallantry Ribbon, Survival Ribbon)
Rank: Major

Game 10 - 10/12/10

Waves survived: 122
Soldiers deployed: 15
Ribbons obtained: 0
Rank: Major

Game 11 - 10/12/10

Waves survived: 113
Soldiers deployed: 15
Ribbons obtained: 2 (Assault Expert Award, Defence Expert Award)
Rank: Major

Game 12 - 10/14/10

Waves survived: 110
Soldiers deployed: 20
Ribbons obtained: 0
Rank: Lt. Colonel

Game 13 - 10/16/10

Waves survived: 140
Soldiers deployed: 17
Ribbons obtained: 1 (Chain of Command Ribbon)
Rank: Lt. Colonel

Game 14 - 10/17/10

Waves survived: 116
Soldiers deployed: 20
Ribbons obtained: 1 (Guerrilla Warfare Award)
Rank: Lt. Colonel
Zookies that died with honor: 15

Game 15 - 10/17/10

Waves survived: 208 - No DOs!
Soldiers deployed: 17
Ribbons obtained: 0
Rank: Lt. Colonel

Game 16 - 10/20/10

Waves survived: 140
Soldiers deployed: 17
Ribbons obtained: 0
Rank: Lt. Colonel

Game 17 - 10/27/10

Waves survived: 176
Soldiers deployed: 20
Ribbons obtained: 0
Rank: Lt. Colonel

Game 18 - 10/28/10

Waves survived: 160
Soldiers deployed: 21
Ribbons obtained: 0
Rank: Lt. Colonel

Game 19 - 10/31/10

Waves survived: 193
Soldiers deployed: 18
Ribbons obtained: 2 (Logistics Ribbon, Air Defence Ribbon)
Rank: Lt. Colonel

Game 20 - 11/4/10

Waves survived: 153
Soldiers deployed: 18
Ribbons obtained: 0
Rank: Lt. Colonel

Game 21 - 11/5/10

Waves survived: 261
Soldiers deployed: 20
Ribbons obtained: 0
Rank: Lt. Colonel

Game 22 - 11/6/10

Waves survived: 129
Soldiers deployed: 20
Ribbons obtained: 0
Rank: Lt. Colonel

Game 23 - 11/7/10

Waves survived: 60 (lazy)
Soldiers deployed: 11
Ribbons obtained: 2 (Halloween Ribbon, Legion d'Honor)
Rank: Lt. Colonel

Game 24 - 11/9/10

Waves survived: 175
Soldiers deployed: 19
Ribbons obtained: 2 (Air Medal, Veterancy Ribbon)
Rank: Lt. Colonel

Game 25 - 11/11/10

Waves survived: 114
Soldiers deployed: 17
Ribbons obtained: 1 (Remembrance Ribbon)
Rank: Lt. Colonel

Game 26 - 11/20/10

Waves survived: 91 (V1 Blitz)
Soldiers deployed: 16
Ribbons obtained: 2 (Air Command Ribbon, Ground Controller Ribbon)
Rank: Lt. Colonel

Game 27 - 11/27/10

Waves survived: 167
Soldiers deployed: 18
Ribbons obtained: 0
Rank: Lt. Colonel

Game 28 - 12/5/10

Waves survived: 161
Soldiers deployed: 21
Ribbons obtained: 0
Rank: Lt. Colonel

Game 29 - 12/21/10

Waves survived: 134 (lost patience with DO crates)
Soldiers deployed: 18
Ribbons obtained: 0
Rank: Lt. Colonel

Game 30 - 12/29/10

Waves survived: 119 (Fun Fact: This game was played at midnight because of 2.2.7.)
Soldiers deployed: 16
Ribbons obtained: 1 (Xmas Ribbon)
Rank: Lt. Colonel

Game 31 - 12/29/10

Waves survived: 123
Soldiers deployed: 18
Ribbons obtained: 0
Rank: Lt. Colonel

Game 32 - 2/16/11

Waves survived: 155
Soldiers deployed: 24 (unsuccessful AT spam)
Ribbons obtained: 0
Rank: Lt. Colonel

Game 33 - 5/28/11

Waves survived: 141
Soldiers deployed: 17
Ribbons obtained: 0
Rank: Lt. Colonel

Game 34 - 6/6/11

Waves survived: 134
Soldiers deployed: 24
Ribbons obtained: 1 (D-Day Ribbon)
Rank: Lt. Colonel

Game 35 - 6/7/11

Waves survived: 140
Soldiers deployed: 30
Ribbons obtained: 0
Rank: Colonel

Game 36 - 6/9/11

Waves survived: 193
Soldiers deployed: 21
Ribbons obtained: 1 (ShellShock Ribbon)
Rank: Colonel

Game 37 - 6/10/11

Waves survived: 123
Soldiers deployed: 24
Ribbons obtained: 1 (Mud and Blood Cross)
Rank: Colonel

Game 38 - 6/17/11

Waves survived: 143
Soldiers deployed: 17
Ribbons obtained: 0
Rank: Colonel

Game 39 - 6/20/11

Waves survived: 370
Soldiers deployed: 32
Ribbons obtained: 1 (BBQ Ribbon)
Rank: Colonel

Game 40 - 6/22/11

Waves survived: 158
Soldiers deployed: 18
Ribbons obtained: 0
Rank: Colonel

Game 41 - 6/24/11

Waves survived: 175
Soldiers deployed: 18
Ribbons obtained: 0
Rank: Colonel

Game 42 - 6/25/11

Waves survived: 149
Soldiers deployed: 25
Ribbons obtained: 0
Rank: Colonel

Game 43 - 6/27/11

Waves survived: 240 (+50)
Soldiers deployed: 25
Ribbons obtained: 1 (Interdiction Ribbon)
Rank: Colonel

Game 44 - 6/29/11

Waves survived: 151 (+68)
Soldiers deployed: 21
Ribbons obtained: 0
Rank: Colonel

Game 45 - 6/30/11

Waves survived: 222
Soldiers deployed: 45
Ribbons obtained: 0
Rank: Colonel

Game 46 - 7/1/11

Waves survived: 244
Soldiers deployed: 24
Ribbons obtained: 0
Rank: Colonel

Game 47 - 7/5/11

Waves survived: 182
Soldiers deployed: 16
Ribbons obtained: 0
Rank: Colonel

Game 48 - 7/19/11

Waves survived: 171
Soldiers deployed: 29
Ribbons obtained: 1 (Special Operations Ribbon)
Rank: Colonel

Game 49 - 7/22/11

Waves survived: 195
Soldiers deployed: 19
Ribbons obtained: 0
Rank: Colonel

Game 50 - 7/23/11

Waves survived: 191
Soldiers deployed: 14
Ribbons obtained: 0
Rank: Colonel

Game 51 - 7/23/11

Waves survived: 218
Soldiers deployed: 40
Ribbons obtained: 1 (Infantry Specialist Ribbon)
Rank: Colonel

Game 52 - 7/24/11

Waves survived: 270
Soldiers deployed: 38
Ribbons obtained: 0
Rank: Brigadier General

Game 53 - 7/26/11

Waves survived: 166
Soldiers deployed: 35
Ribbons obtained: 0
Rank: Brigadier General

Game 54 - 8/21/11

Waves survived: 109 (V1 Blitzed)
Soldiers deployed: 27
Ribbons obtained: 1 (MNB2 Anniversary Ribbon)
Rank: Brigadier General

Game 55 - 9/11/11

Waves survived: 211
Soldiers deployed: 37
Ribbons obtained: 0
Rank: Brigadier General

Game 56 - ??/??/??

Waves survived: 202
Soldiers deployed: 36
Ribbons obtained: 0
Rank: Brigadier General

Game 57 - 12/27/11

Waves survived: 65 (owned by patch 2.3)
Soldiers deployed: 18
Ribbons obtained: 0
Rank: Brigadier General

Game 58 - 12/27/11

Waves survived: 314 (owned patch 2.2.6.)
Soldiers deployed: 54
Ribbons obtained: 0
Rank: Brigadier General

Game 59 - 12/29/11

Waves survived: 183
Soldiers deployed: 38
Ribbons obtained: 0
Rank: Brigadier General

Game 60 - 12/30/11

Waves survived: 285
Soldiers deployed: 41
Ribbons obtained: 0
Rank: Brigadier General

Game 61 - 12/31/11

Waves survived: 189
Soldiers deployed: 45
Ribbons obtained: 0
Rank: Brigadier General

***Victoria Cross Awarded***

Game 62 - 12/31/11

Waves survived: Who
Soldiers deployed: Gives
Ribbons obtained: A
Rank: Bull!