Yes. Yes I did.

Ready for some HAXXORING?

I can't believe I haven't posted this yet.

[EDIT: I just realized that they censor out the N-word...]

My name is Pomi and I live on the street,
I abuse my kid every day of the week.
I frown and I'm not nice,
so shut up before I smack you twice!
I make desi food every day-
N***a, you got someting to say?

My name is Pomi,
I like to bull around.
I stay up till 11 and make grunting souunds.

Yo, what up? My name is Manyyl.
I am incompetent,
my mother is an elephant-
but that don't matter,
'cause when I walk up to her and say,
Hey: "Mama can you-" she like
"Shut up Manyl, ugh what's that smell?!
Go take a shower and then go to hell!"

NC is my home town, then I went around town
and came to this town --
Immah stay! Immah stay fo three weeks n***a!

Chorus:

Now put your hands in the air like you just don't care
and shout -
Nana Baba! Na-Nana Baba!
Put your hands in the air like you just don't care
and shout -
Nana-Baba!

Solo:

Nana Baba! Na-Nana Baba! x3

By a Young Woota - 6/24/10

This is where the commissioned posts like to hang out.

Here's the ghastly Graveyard...

Active Posts

Don't Bull Me Now

MONO Transmissions

Ayiti: The Guide

MONO Names

Inactive Posts

Road to the Victoria Cross

Response to Kongregate shouts

So you want to CARKASS a MONO?

How to CARKASS a MONO.

My Name Is

The Story of MONO

The Cost of Life Comic #3

The Declaration of CARKASSING

Bohiemian MONO

Here is where decommissioned posts go when they die in the line of duty.

They are to be treated with respect as they gave there lives for New Wootas-Shire...

Here are The Barracks

Nicaragua (and HELL)
8/1/10 - 8/7/10

The Bee-Killing Program
8/6/10 - 8/9/10

"Learning Facility"
8/7/10 - 8/12/10

Surviving (Hell Edition)
8/13/10 - 8/30/10

Status Reports
8/30/10 - 5/18/11

MONO HQ
11/7/10 - 11/11/10

MONO HQ - Introduction
11/4/10 - 11/21/10

The Archives - 2010
8/12/10 - 12/11/10

The Archives - 2011
12/11/10 - 4/2/11

The Archives - 2011 - Grand Finale
4/2/11 - 5/18/11

[ANNOUNCEMENT - 4/2/11: This post has been partially decommissioned. Only the 'Current Location' section is valid. All other sections should be disregarded.]

[ANNOUNCEMENT - 5/18/11: Everything on this page is only valid prior to 5/18/11. It should be disregarded.]

Current Location

Summer Escape

Locations that have been hauled

In order

* Nicaragua
* Normandy
* Hell
* The Bocage
* Bastogne
* St. Vith, Belgium
* someplace cold
* Testapocalypse

Schedule

0100 Hours: *does work that should have been done last night*

0200 Hours: That old Tami Shami is runnin' outta material...

0300 Hours: I am succumbing to McDonald Paranoia. My research paper has gotten no where.

0400 Hours: LaHanda is a cheerful skank that can become pissed veerry easily.

Lunch: Alright as you would expect.

[Recon/Intel from first day: Me and one of my soldiers went on a recon mission behind enemy lines to secure food and supplies; our platoon wasn't able to join us.]

0500 Hours: A simple, yet futile class.

0600 Hours: Yarholar's is making us write even more and more bull! Immah bulling out!

0700 hours: We stay here until 07:20 hours, to prepare to return back to our respective sub-divisions.

Superior Officers

1. 1st Lieutenant Hickerson
2. 1-Star General Tami Dearborn
3. Colonel McDonald
4. Stressed-out Bitch
5. Captain Melton
6. 2nd Lieutenant Lazy Old Hag

Decommissioned Officers

1. 2nd Lieutenant Yarholar
Decommissioned at 02:06 hours - 8/18/10

Status: Alive; commissioned only in 06:00 hours.
Reason: Was (and still is) insane; Burgess is better.
Rating: 2/5

2. Major Myrick-Smith (now know as Major Dumbass)
Decommissioned at 02:59 hours - 12/17/10

Status: Dead. Killed by an enemy sniper. Possibly LaHonda.
Reason: Her time had come; the semester ended
Rating: 1/5, waste of time

3. Gunnery Sergeant Burgess
Decommissioned at 01:59 hours - 12/17/10

Status: Imprisioned in a POW camp
Reason: He's kinda an arse; he's too revered for his enemies; the semester ended
Rating: 5/5, "I'll never forget you."

Note: This is not actual military time. This is based on the periods of various classes. Ex. 0100 hours = 1st period.

Morale

Morale: 1% (Ado save me)

Modifiers

Negatives

Dignity loss: -40
Too many missions: -30
Shellshock: -15
Monotony: -25 once a week
Time: -5 every day

Positives

Successful missions: +10
Reinforcements: +5
Hope that we'll withdraw soon: +20
Mud and Blood: +10 per game
Withdrawals: +10 per day of withdrawing
MONO Morale: +5 every day
StarCraft: +10 per session

(Note: These are approximate)

Retreating Schedule

Aside from withdrawing on the weekends, we will probably withdraw on these tactically unfavorable days:

[pending]

Evaluation of a Typical Day

Phase One

0100 - 0200 hours

"The Bullin' Era"

Boring, but simple. Just stay half-awake and you'll be alright. The asshole in 2nd hour is a pain, but the thought of him potentially leaving reassures you.

Phase Two

0300 - 0400 hours

"The Trip to Hell Era"

The Hell is just beginning. McDonald is easy. Just write and listen.
Bitch is a senile skank. Just deal with it.

Phase Three

0500 hours - Bridge

"The Waiting Era"

The day is over. At least to you it is. Nothing more hinders your quest of extraction from this damned hell-hole. It will take long, but the journey will be easy. If your patience can hold, you'll be fine.

Ferris Buellers

I try to limit them to once a month...

10/1/10

Reason: Low morale

10/12/10

Reason: Assignments to be finished; Yarholar's field trip.

10/20/10

Reason: McDonald, low morale, sanity

11/11/10

Reason: Mud Blood, research paper, R & R

2/1/11 - 2/4/10

Reason: Ferris Bueller via snow technicality

2/16/11 - 2/17/11

Reason: Snow day

Mid-January

Reason: Low-morale. Would end up regretting it.

I dare you to listen to the whole thing...

MONOs. Face it. We all love them. Many people want to CARKASS a MONO. Some even want to become a MONO.

But if you want to know how to do these CARKASSING things and more read on...

Pros & Cons

MONO

Pros: Extremely powerful Special Attacks

Cons: Weak overall stats, difficult class, unbalanced

CARKASSER

Pros: Balanced/powerful overall stats, adaptable, intellect bonus

Cons: Balanced yet weak/unreliable Special Attacks

CARKASSING Guidelines

1. You MUST read this guide. If you DO NOT read, understand, and follow this guide, then you should click the [x] in the top right-hand corner of the screen. (other side for Mac users) (meh. No one cares about you, Linux...)

2. One must ALWAYS follow The Code of the MONO.

3. DO NOT try to find a way around these rules

(Disclaimer: Rules may be added/removed/modified at any time without warning)

How to become a MONO

So you want to be a MONO, eh? Well prove it. Complete the following questions and you might become a MONO (in about 2-4 weeks).

(Note: Woota applications are not available; you have to be BORN a Woota.)

1. Do you have fur covering most of your body?

2. Do you have claws and sharp fangs?

3. Do you sleep for 18 hours a day?

4. Do you like to be CARKASSED?

5. What's your favorite CARKASSING maneuver?

6. What's your favorite MONO food?

7. Are you happy with your CARKASSING life?

8. Do you have a structured settlement?

9. Do you or do you not like bulling around?

10. Why do want to be a MONO and not a CARKASSER?

If you said yes to...

0 Questions: You are NOT a MONO. You are an impostor and a cheat. Get out of here. I don't love you.

1-5 Questions: Not good enough, young grassMONO.

5-9 Questions: Excellent! You may be well on your to becoming a MONO!

10 Questions: You are a PURE MONO. Sheer CARKENESS runs through your veins. *Bows deeply*

(Note: You must tell me your answer to #10 before I give you the revered title of MONO.)

Question #3 or #8 then it means: You are either a lazy fatass who needs to get some exercise or that you need to payoff your financial obligation. Or both.

But wait! I don't want to be CARKASSED! How do I undo the MONO process?

Ugh. So you don't want to be a MONO, huh? Well I won't ask why (yes I will). Just fill out this application.

1. Do you have something against MONOs?

2. You do realize that you can't become a Woota, right? (unless the scenarios are algorithmic)

3. Was this a mistake? (if it was then we'll restore your honor IMMEDIATELY)

4. What is your MAIN reason for filling this out? ("for bullings sake" is NOT an answer)

MONO!

Listen to this when you're reading.

August 25, 2010

[I lay there CARKASSING MONO, listening to Bohemian Rhapsody in the background, bulling out all my stress, when it dawned on me; I have never shared my innermost MONO secrets. My time on this earth is numbered, and I can't die without everyone knowing my passion for MONO. So here goes...]

I was CARKASSING MONO. It was the best CARKASSING experience of my life, for me and MONO.

I couldn't get a grip on reality. It seemed like the MONO was everywhere, that I couldn't escape it. I felt trapped in some darkness that was seemingly impossible to escape.
I lay there in the darkness, unable to see. I grew worried.
Suddenly, I heard a voice. It sounded like mumbling, yet I understood it.

I opened my eyes and looked up.

I could see all the Wootas and MONOs flying majestically through the night sky.
As I was recovering, I realized MONO was not in sight. I frantically searched for MONO, but to no avail; MONO was gone. It didn't matter right?

Anyway the MONO goes doesn't really matter. Not to me anyways. I decided to be on my way now; it was was getting late. I cautiously walked down the cold street, leading back to my house.

That's when saw it.

MONO! The MONO was in an alley with some other figure.

It was my father. MONO had a gun to his head.

"Father!" I yelled as I ran after him.

MONO pulled the trigger. He was dead.

I instantly pulled back and began to cry as I ran home.

How could MONO do this? I asked myself as I cried in my bed. Life had just begun, but now it seems its thrown it all away. Sometime later, the MONO came back.
I hid behind the couch, ready to confront the MONO when it entered.
The MONO opened the door casually, as if nothing really matters. I manned up and proceeded to confront the MONO.

Then I saw the MONOs fangs and razor-sharp claws.

I decided to leave a note instead.

That night I left.

[The MONO later saw the note. Didn't mean to make you CARKASSED, if I'm not back again this time tomorrow, Woota on, Woota on, as if nothing really matters - Young Woota. Needless to say the MONO was NOT pleased to find this.]

I was walking in the frigid temperatures. It sent shivers down my spine.

"Goodbye MONO CARKASS, I've got to go."

[The MONO was feeling deep regrets of anguish and misery.]

"MONO OOOOHHHH! I don't want to be CARKASSED sometimes I wish I never was a MONO at all!"

I continued to walk down the sidewalk. I started to wonder whether leaving the MONO was the right choice. After a while I saw something that actually made me excited. I exclaimed "I see the little silhouetto of a MONO!" I had never been more excited to see MONO in my life!

As we both ran to each other the MONO started to cry. "I'm just a poor MONO, nobody loves me." cried the MONO.I tried my best to comfort the MONO, but it continued to get arsed.

"Easy MEOW, easy MEOW, will you let me MEOW?"

Before I could answer the Algorithmic Gods came.

The MONO begged for its freedom. The Algorithmic Gods began to argue with me on whether or not to release the MONO.

"Bismillah! MEOW, we will not let you MEOW!" The Algorithmic Gods roared.
"Let him MEOW!" I shouted.

We went back and forth, until I lost. The Algorithmic Gods were not on my side.

The Algorithmic Gods were not going let go of MONO.
Then MONO then diverted its anger at me.

"So you think you can CARKASS me and spit in my eye?
So you think you can bull me and leave me to die?" It exclaimed.

I angrily responded with "Oh, wawy, can't do this to me, wawy!
Just gotta get out, just gotta get right outta here!"

"Nothing really MONOs
Anyone can see
Nothing really MONOs
Nothing really MONOs to me." The MONO said softly.

And with that, the MONO disappeared never to be seen again.

- Diary of a Young Woota

NORMANDASIZE, MEN!!!